A Most Unusual Halloween at Hogwarts
by Hermione Sweetheart
Summary: Ah, what'll happen when wizards dress as muggles for Halloween? Draco's in leather, Ron's spitting... loads of fun, 3 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

As Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast on October 29th, Dumbledore stood up as McGonagall tapped her goblet with her knife. The Hall fell silent.

"Good morning, everyone," Dumbledore announced, smiling. Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged looks. Dumbledore never made speeches at breakfast.

"As you all know, Halloween is in two day's time," he continued. "We have planned to have a Halloween party."

There was applause.

"I'm not finished," Dumbledore smiled. "It will be a costume party. Since Muggles dress as magical things, I have decided it'd be most amusing to dress as Muggle things."

All around the Hall, people glanced uncertainly towards their friends.

"Don't worry about finding a costume, however," Dumbledore said. "If you would all, please, pick up the catalog from underneath your seats..."

In unison, everyone bent down and picked up a thick catalog that was certainly not there a moment before.

"If you thumb through that," Dumbledore announced, "you will discover listings of many Muggle-esque costumes and such. There is a form in the back - copy the number of your chosen costume on it was well as your name, House, and year, and they will be delivered to you. Drop the forms by your Head of House's office, they will take care of it. And now, let us enjoy breakfast!"

As he sat down, the Hall erupted with talking and the clatter of silverware. Harry opened to the first page of his catalog as he helped himself to scrambled eggs and watched Ron skim through it, his brow furrowed. Hermione was already immersed in it.

"Wow," she said, flipping a page. "This is really well done. They have a photo of every costume, as well as descriptions of what all of the costumes are for and it explains everything."

After a moment's silence, she laughed and nudged him. "Some of these are so silly. Listen: clown, custodian, hula dancer, auto-repair man... oh, my, who would seriously dress up as a 'Plastic-y Blonde'?"

All day long, people were talking about the costume catalog. After dinner that evening, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting around a table with their catalogs, trying to decide what to choose.

"Ooh, I know what I want to be!" Ron exclaimed.

"What?" Harry asked, not looking up from the description of the 'American Tourist'.

"A postman!" he exclaimed. "No, wait - a cowboy! No, hold on, what's a telemarketer... oh, they sound dead annoying to me..."

"That'd suit you, then," Hermione said dryly, making a list of costumes on a piece of scrap parchment.

"Well, what do you have on that list?" Ron asked, peering over at it. Hermione pulled it away. Before she could respond, Ginny came up to them.

"Hi," she said, clutching her catalog. "Mind if I join you?"

Hermione pulled out a chair. "Go ahead. Do you know what you want to be?"

"Nope," Ginny said, opening her catalog. "I have some ideas, though..."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, maybe one of these." She gestured at a page.

Hermione leaned over and read. "Sexy U.S. Army Soldier... Fashion Designer... Sexy Catwoman... Hula Dancer... Sexy Policewoman... Sexy Wench... Belly Dancer..."

Ron jerked his head up from examining the description of 'Cowboy'. "What?" he asked loudly. "Sexy _what_, now?"

"Ron!" Ginny hissed. "I don't care what they're called, I like them."

"You are _not_ dressing in anything marked 'Sexy'," he retorted.

"Like I care what you think."

"I'll... I'll tell Mum!"

She glared. "You wouldn't."

He nodded. "I would."

She smirked. "Then I'll tell Mum about you blowing all your pocket money on Playwizard magazines that one time."

Ron gasped. "You know about that?"

She nodded. "Of course."

He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally spitting out, "Fine!"

Harry, who hadn't been paying much attention, looked up, confused. They ignored him.

"You know what, Hermione?" Ginny said in a staged whisper. "Which do you like better: the Belly Dancer or the Wench one?"

Ron glared at her. Hermione shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Well, then, I'll go ask a guy which one he thinks is sexier, and I'll wear that one." Ginny shot Ron a filthy look and stalked off.

Hermione watched her leave, then turned back to her catalog. "Oh, I know what I'm dressing up as!"

"What?" Harry asked.

"Um, well, it's a surprise," Hermione turned pink.

"Oh, please don't tell me it's Sexy Catwoman," Ron groaned.

"No," Hermione said, shooting him a look to rival Ginny's. "I'm just going to go give this to McGonagall. See you later."

Without another word, she went through the portrait hole and disappeared from sight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin common room, Draco was trying to decide on a costume.

"What about this, Crabbe?" he asked, holding out a page. Without waiting for an answer, he kept looking.

"Still don't have an idea, Malfoy?" someone said from behind him. He turned - Blaise Zabini.

"What do you want, Zabini?" he hissed, going back to his catalog.

"Nothing much," Blaise said, sitting down across from Draco and taking out his own catalog. "Just the name of whatever you're going as, so I don't pick the same thing. So, any ideas?"

"If I had any, I wouldn't tell you, now would I?" Draco retorted.

Blaise abandoned his catalog and put his arms behind his head. "Well, just don't pick 'Rock Star', alright?"

"And why not?"

"Because," Blaise said, as though explaining something to a small child. "It's much too sexy for you."

Draco stood up. "You know what?" he said, quickly scribbling on his form, "I'm going to choose that, and I assure you I will be very sexy at that party!" With that, he stormed off.

"Alright with me," Blaise said to he retreating back. "But just know I'll have a lot more girls following me than you will!"

By the morning of October 31, everyone had turned in their forms. Harry couldn't decide on a costume and finally chose 'Policeman'. Ron kept going back and forth from Telemarketer to Cowboy to Postman so many times that Harry had no idea what he'd finally decided on. Hermione was still keeping hers a secret.

Around midday, they got the rest of the afternoon off and their costumes were delivered to them. Harry and Ron went upstairs to check them out, along with Neville, Dean, and Seamus.

Harry pulled his policeman costume from the box and laid it out. It was blue with a matching hat and included a badge and a pair of handcuffs.

He looked over at Ron as he pulled his own costume out. Apparently, he'd chosen 'Cowboy'. "Ah, excellent!" Ron said, laying it out as well. It was a red shirt, dark blue pants, and a cowboy hat.

Seamus was pulling out his own, looking quite pleased. "Awesome!"

"What is that?" Harry had to ask.

Seamus held it up. "Insurance Salesman!" It was just a suit and tie, with some shoe polisher included.

"And I'm a fireman!" Dean said, pulling out his heavy-looking firefighter's outfit and hat.

"What about you, Neville?" Harry asked, walking over to his bed. Neville held up his costume. "Postman, huh? Pretty cool."

Neville nodded. It was also a blue outfit, with a white mail-carrying bag and a hat.

In the Slytherin common room, Draco immediately grabbed up his box and pulled out his costume eagerly. He turned paler than usual as he held it up.

"What is _that_?" Blaise smirked, coming up. "Doesn't look like Rock Star to me."

Indeed, it was a one-piece sort of thing, making up flared pants and a long-sleeved top with a high collar. And it was made entirely of tight black leather.

"Professor Snape!" Draco said before he could leave. "I must have gotten the wrong costume!" He held it up.

Snape smirked at it. "Mr. Malfoy, you must have written the wrong number. There's nothing I can do about it. I suggest you just wear it."

"But, Professor!" Snape ignored him and swept out.

Draco went back to his costume box. Inside was some sort of headpiece with cat-ears on it. He searched for the costume information and found it. Costume Number 17429.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I wrote the wrong thing! It was supposed to be 1742_8_!"

Reading on, he discovered just what his leather costume was called:

'Sexy Cat-Man.'

A few hours later, they were all dressed and ready for the party. Ron had attached a small pair of spurs to his shoes. He tipped the hat at everyone constantly.

"Howdy," he said in a very country sort of accent. "Howdy, howdy, howdy."

Harry rolled his eyes. He felt very uncomfortable in his policeman attire, ever since Seamus had gleefully pointed out all the other things the handcuffs could be used for. He had attached them to his belt, and the badge to his shirt.

Dean looked very nice in his fireman's outfit, walking around and around the dormitory to get used to it. Seamus stood mock-stiffly in his insurance salesman's suit and tie, coughing gruffly when people stepped on his shiny shoes. They were all trying to avoid him, as he kept holding out a fake card and asking if they were interested in some insurance.

Neville sat quietly in his postman's costume, adjusting the messenger bag on his shoulder.

Around six o'clock, Harry suggested, "Should we go now?" They followed him down the stairs. Everyone else was leaving as well, and it was hard to recognize everyone in different clothes. As they went down to the entrance hall, Harry noticed that quite a few people had chosen to just be a 'Muggle'. He saw several other policemen, another firefighter, and quite a few postmen.

He looked around for Hermione and Ginny, but couldn't find them. Then again, he could have past them three times and not have noticed, since he didn't even know what they were dressed like.

At six thirty, Dumbledore opened the doors to the Great Hall. "The party is now beginning!" he announced. Everyone went inside.

The Hall was decorated with floating pumpkins and live bats, with cobwebs everywhere and a band Harry didn't know was playing on a small stage. The house tables had disappeared, leaving a wide space in the room with smaller tables around the edges.

Harry quickly lost sight of Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville. He was about to go look for someone he knew when he was tapped on the shoulder. Turning, he realized he didn't know whoever this was.

"Hi," said a belly dancer.

"Er, hi," Harry said. "Have you seen Ron Weasley, by any chance?"

"You don't know who I am?" the belly dancer asked. Harry shook his head. The dancer lifted up her veil.

"Ginny?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course," she said. "The majority of guys I asked said 'Belly Dancer' was sexier, so that's what I got."

"Oh."

"Anyway, I'll see you later," Ginny said. "Oh, and Hermione's looking for you."

"Where is she?"

Ginny shrugged and pointed towards a corner of the Hall. "I last saw her somewhere over there."

Harry went off towards that area of the Hall, looking closely at everyone to make sure he didn't walk right past Hermione.

"Hi, Harry."

He turned around. A girl was standing there, her hair piled up loosely behind her head, curls falling out and around her shoulders. She was wearing a very showy dress, he realized. It was low-cut and off-the-shoulder. Her top was white with some kind of brown leather thing (a corset? he wondered) around her middle. Her skirt was long and wide, a lighter brown than whatever was over her top.

"Have you seen Hermione Granger?" he asked the girl. "I'm looking for her."

The girl came closer. "Um, I'm right here."

"_Hermione_?"

She blushed. "Do I look that bad?"

"No... you... it's really nice... I was just... surprised..." he seemed at a loss for words. "Er, Ginny said you were looking for me?"

"Yeah," Hermione said. "Just wanted to see what your costume was. It's nice, by the way." She smirked and tugged on his handcuffs.

"Oh, shut up," he grinned. "Like I haven't already been bothered enough about these stupid handcuffs."

"By Seamus, you mean?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

She shrugged. "He's going around telling everyone in sight that 'Harry Potter has handcuffs and he's not using them to fight crime'."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Draco was very upset. No _way_ was he going to this party dressed as a Sexy Cat-Man.

But he had no choice, as Blaise had gleefully pointed out.

A very sullen Draco pulled on the leather outfit. It was really absurdly tight, he noticed. Though it did show off his... well, his _attributes._ No one could say he didn't look sexy in this.

He chucked the cat ears aside, however - without them no one would even know what he was. He was just 'Sexy Leather Pants Draco' without the ears.

When he, Crabbe, and Goyle (the second two dressed as plumbers) got to the party (fashionably late, of course), Draco realized that perhaps the messed up costume thing wasn't so bad. He strutted past a large group of girls, who giggled as he passed.

_Obviously_, they thought he was oh-so sexy.

After talking to Hermione for a few more minutes, Harry went off to find Ron. He did find him, eventually, talking to Ernie Macmillan (who was a 'Realtor', apparently).

"I love being a cowboy," Ron said. Then he spat on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Well, I've always heard that cowboys spit on the ground a lot." He spat again. "Have you seen Hermione?"

"Yeah, she's over there," Harry said as Ron spat once more. "She dressed as a... well, I believe the costume is called 'Sexy Wench'."

Ron spat. "So is she sexy?"

"What?" Harry hadn't really thought about it. "Yeah, I guess so."

Ron spat again, and Ernie turned to him, annoyed. "You realize that's the fourth time you've spit on my shoe?"

"Oh, sorry," Ron said, carefully directing his spit elsewhere. He was about to say something else when he pointed.

"Look at Malfoy!"

"Where?"

"Right there! In the leather!"

Harry squinted. Sure enough, Draco was strutting around in a large circle, wearing a very tight leather outfit.

Ron was doubled over with laughter. "He looks ridiculous!"

"What is he supposed to be, anyway?"

Ernie spoke up. "I think that's the 'Sexy Cat-Man' costume. Looks like he ditched the ears, though. He does look stupid," he added.

"Look, you can tell he thinks those girls are giggling because he's hot," Ron pointed out. "They're laughing at him, though!" He was so busy laughing himself that he almost forgot to spit on the ground again.

Draco walked over and struck a pose. "Hello, boys," he drawled. "Care for a closer look at Mr. Sexy?"

"Ah, walking the catwalk, aren't you, Malfoy?" Ernie asked. Draco flushed.

"But you can't deny I look damn sexy in it."

"Sure, Malfoy," Ron said. "You look as sexy as Neville does in that postman costume."

"Oh, so you're not like most guys?" Draco said. "Think Neville's sexy, do you? Honestly, one would think you'd have better taste, Weasley. And what did your parents say when they found out?"

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron said as he spat and then lunged at Draco. Harry held him back. "The only one who's gay is you, strutting around in a black leather cat costume."

After Ron had cooled down, and Draco was showing off elsewhere, they went and found Hermione. Harry was careful to make sure that Ron didn't see Ginny, or he'd explode.

"Hermione, is that you?" Ron asked, spitting.

She rolled her eyes. "Can't I dress differently for one night without everyone asking me that? And why are you spitting on me?"

"Sorry," Ron replied, aiming at a Hermione-free area of the floor. "It's a cowboy thing, you know."

"Well, stop, you'll lose bodily fluids," Hermione snapped. "And you look stupid, too. Not even a camel spits that much."

Ron flushed, but stopped spitting.

"So, having fun?" Harry asked Hermione, trying to change the subject.

"Sort of," she said. "But, you know, about ten guys have asked me out without realizing it was me. Just goes to show how obsessed some guys can be about looks."

"Speaking of that, have you seen Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Hermione hid a smile. "He does look ridiculous, doesn't he?"

Harry laughed. As strange and bizarre this whole experience had been, everyone was somehow still themselves, and despite everything, he could still laugh at Malfoy.


End file.
